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SO IM ENTERING COLLEGE NOW, I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO YET. I WENT TO MY COLLEGE AND I KNOW THAT IN MY FIRST DAY I WOULD LOOK LIKE A TOTAL SHIT, I WOULD BE LOST AND EVERYTHING. I WONT HAVE ANY FRIENDS AND EVERYTHING. MAYBE I'D JUST CONCENTRATE WITH MY STUDIES FIRST. I ASKED MY MUM AND SISTER IF I WOULD EASILY FIND FRIENDS INTHE FIRST DAY AND THEY SAID YES, BOYS. HAHAHA. I DONT WANT TO BLOG MUCH NOW. MY HEAD'S FULL OF THINGS I CANT PUT OUT AND IT REALLY SUCKS,
i just graduated,like last night, i dont know what i should feel or anything. im just so damn confused on what i should think or what. i dont know if i should be sorry or proud or relieved because im successful whatever or scared of what can happen to me when officially enter the college life. will be my outlet be still there. will they still be there for me. will the people and things i believe would stay with me forever will still be there for me forever?
i really really hope so...
- Mood:
drained
You’ll take away the biggest part of me
Oo, oo, oo, no, baby, please don’t go
And if you leave me now
You’ll take away the very heart of me
Oo, oo, oo, no, baby, please don’t go
Oo, oo, oo, girl, I just want you to stay
How could we let it slip away ?
We’ve come too far to leave it all behind
How could we end it all this way ?
When tomorrow comes and we both regret
The things we said today
How could we let it slip away ?
We’ve come too far to leave it all behind
How could we end it all this way ?
When tomorrow comes and we both regret
The things we said today
You’ll take away the biggest part of me
Oo, oo, oo, no, baby, please don’t go
Oo, oo, girl, I’ve just got to have you by my side
Oo, oo, oo, no, baby, please don’t go
Oo, ah, ah, I’ve just got to have you, girl
thats our theme song,my bestfriends.
well it really makes me cry whenever i hear this song
maybe because my emotiions are really driven
most especially when it talks about my bestfriends already.
im having some problems right now though.
lately im kind of feeling that im not the same person anymore,
its like ive changed or shifted to another me
and then keft the old me who i really enjoyed being her.
its really really weird, yes i know.
it makes me really uncomfortable.
because it makes me think that i dont have my own identity already,
when before i know who i am and i fully know who i want and what i want.
but lately, im feeling really sick.
i mean, its just not me.
its just not me who i can feel that is in my body right now,
really creepy.
to think that i can still type like this.
well who knows this is person who's typing right now.
maybe i have a sickness or anything.
ugh it really creeps me out.
ITS JUST NOT ME!!!
- Location:pfft
- Mood:
crappy - Music:tori amos-you belong to me
my bestfriends,well we had a small fight.its not that small really,i just called it small because the reasons behind our fight is sort of small.i never imagined that reasons like that would be so much of a big deal anyway,me and uling.we were soo god damn miserable because our better thurd was away physically and emotionally and yeah well mentally.i felt it like that because we were really inseperable,i could take the hard way just to be with them.i mean,id rather be with them than being with everybody,thats how much i value them,and i dont care if anyone or everybody does not approve with it,what matters most is that im with them,
so it all started when her better half started complaining about our sense of humor.well its kind of hard to explain,but lets just say that she doesnt undrestand that when she's with us she's happy but whe she's with her better half,she's not.well for me that was sort of alarming,knowing that her better half is one of my friends too.we were really shocked with this because of all the people that she would be jealous of would be us.she knows that she's our bestfriend and we cant actually live with out being with each other.and being away with each other is pretty scary for me.then we try talking to her but she was too far away.then being miserable and depressed and so much suicidal,we've been drunk for 2 days because of this.we texted her one of the days we were drunk and we know that we were imamture during those times,but what can we do?we were lonely..and we were shitin our asses off to find time and talk to her.but she.she was too busy being the better half of her.i know we were really selfish thinking this things but we were really annoyed with this situation but..ugh..i dont know..
but the fight is over and were ok now.im just still thinking if were REALLY OK.maybe instincts would tell us or push us if there's something must happend and we have to spill iti to them already.time is running,and its the most important thing in our life so far.we are really challenged.
- Mood:
blah - Music:true-spandeau ballet
i love them.and i soo much miss them!!:(
- Mood:
crazy
so i have been a bed riden fer about 3 days now beacuse of this freakin sickness that didnt know where the hell did i got it from. and it sucks coz i just missed a freakin exciting party because my mom thinks that im still not yet ready to go partyin. well, i half argued with her about it but i didnt mind it that much though, because i dont have money to use and i think ill just be irritated once i go there because im not that really well.. so there, i just hung out here at home and because of boredom i bloged again. and beacuse of my btterness about someone im listening to daughter by john mayer.. the song isnt really about what im tryin to say here but the melody of the song is somewhat a lovesong, right??? hihi.XD and now the player plays the song seasons of love by the musicale rent..now that's a love song..hihi.XD..
alright,im gonna talk about someone i should be talking now..im just..ugh..i dont know really..it just makes me fluttery all around..its someone i have admired since last year..last year was not that intense because we werent related in any sort of way..no,we were related in the very distant way. so there, i have admired another person that is out my league again and i know im not liable? or capable? or whatever to fall fer her. it just so happened that i was intruduced to her that she was that sweet, fragile, cute, childish little thing that you would just want to love and love each and every day of your damn life. can you see the picture? i think im crazy falling for another person who is still inlove with her past and still doesn"t want and have no plans of moving on. maybe im just scared for her to be hurt because ive been through that hurt part of the game called love. and i pity her all the time when i see her cry. i just want to hug her soo tightly and never let her go untl she realize that im here, ready to give everything to her and to do everything for her. im not yet inlove wit her, i know that, its just that i care for her so much that its not that right anymore and i just want to be with her that really is a scary thing already. i know this isnt right again, but i just cant let go of this. ive never felt this thing again for the longest time and please just this time, let me feel this thing. i know this is wrong, i just cant help it. just seeing her almost everyday of my life, how could i control this rushing feeling that all the time makes me feel irritated and stupid and just WRONG! i wanted to be like my bestriends that they confess to their loves what they feel about them, but in my case, it wont be that applicable in a million years. she was too hurt and bitter to move on. actually im almost there in hating her. i just cant get over that i have liked this person when all the while we are just the very opposite in doing this game. maybe because it all started with that freakin kiss.. that bewitched kiss that killed me the every time we do it.
im confused, i just want to be with you.
- Location:anywhere with her
- Mood:
scared
when your a sucker, accept it..dont flaunt it..you'll really look stupid..
lets give an example..
fer example, my bestfriend had a fight with this girl in our school that have been irritating our eyes fer soooo long..
and they talked and everything she said is, i beleive, are all lies and sarcasm and a whole lota package..
i admit, im being rude, and a big big BITCH..
but you see,,if you have this friend and you really thought that she was kind and sweet and all and then suddenly some news have been all around and involving her and she really acted a bitch..and then your bestfriend, your bestfriend is trying to live a normal life and then suddenly she starts bugging her life,,,
how fuckin shit is that??
huh???
tell me..
bummer kahit san..bummer..big time!!
- Mood: blah
